Ulta adventure #1

A very sweet salesgirl helped me pick this:

Ulta Automatic Eye Liner in Black/Brown

I don't think she believed me when I said I didn't know where to start (my mother was into the natural look and granola-and-carob for snacks, plus she let me get a perm in fifth grade, so not great for guidance in that way, but very good in what she perceived as less superficial pursuits - reading, piano, etc.), and she was very kind and patient with all of my questions about the differences between gels, pencils, liquids, shadows, and application with a brush.

"Basically," I told her, "I need something that won't drip down by four p.m. Also, I don't want to look like an extra from Miss Saigon."

I was a real pain.

Finally, she said, "Go on YouTube and watch the makeup tutorials. They're really good. Every night I watch a bunch of them." 

I pretended that my eyes haven't been bleeding from doing just that.

"Oh! Great idea. Thanks!", I told her. I would have tipped her if such a thing were allowed (and not preposterous and somehow kind of like a weird proposition between someone needing makeup lessons and someone who only got the job to sell cosmetics, not cater to weirdos).

At home, I tried out my new pencil, and despite its name, there's nothing automatic about it. 

My eyes started tearing up from not blinking and I couldn't get a straight line because I kept rushing, thinking the baby was going to wake up from his nap at any minute.

I think I just need to practice, right? And if it doesn't work out, it's not the worst thing! 

Every time someone's done my eyes, I've felt so out-of-body. "Look at yourself!", my sister said the last time she did mine (this past fall). "Just look! So pretty!"

People seem to like it when I get dolled up (not by my own hand, mind you). But I always startle myself when I catch my reflection, feeling kind of how Kim must have looked after she'd become a bar girl in Bangkok (and been abandoned by Chris, birthed his love child, killed Thuy, and had that confrontation with Ellen). 

Do you gals also wear eye makeup? Are you Team "Mascara is the number one item I'd bring on a desert island" or Team "Mascara makes me itch all over"? Do any of you Asian readers also have one eye that's a monolid and the other with a crease? Am I the only one conflicted over makeup at thirty-something?

Just so you know, I'm definitely not anti-makeup. I do so love: primer, BB cream, blush, lip-everything, and clear eyebrow gel. Also Ulta Fresh Water Mist (I'm so addicted!). Sometimes I think I just invent these little dilemmas so I keep having an excuse to go back.

P.S.: for fellow Lea Salonga fans: